From War to Forgiveness

Just in time for Veterans Day, YFFY had a compelling conversation with Dr. Fred Luskin, who began fighting the good fight for forgiveness in part while facilitating support groups for vets returning home from the Vietnam War.

Dr. Fred's staunch views about war and people who fought were challenged by the pain, suffering and circumstances he encountered in these groups. "I was wrong," he said of his perspective about fighting in the war. "And it was horrifying to see how wrong I was. I could not defend my own negativity."

Part of changing how he viewed the world included taking up research on forgiveness. He's now all over the internet with talks and conversations on the relationship between forgiveness, healing, and physical well-being.

Dr. Fred's work came into view after i finished up the manuscript for Forgive For You: A Memoir of Family, Fury, and Freedom in summer of 2025 and kicked off You Forgive For You to platform and scale forgiveness as a learnable skill for well-being, longevity, and resilience. Interestingly, Dr. Fred's first book is Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness published in 2001.

Another bit of synchronicity, the Vietnam War is also a main character in my forgiveness story. Having a physically and emotionally wounded Vietnam Vet for a parent contributed to much of the harm i'd later need to forgive in order to survive, heal, and grow.

As YFFY makes its way into the world, it's incredibly fitting that i found Dr. Fred for a conversation. There's a rich legacy of forgiveness advocacy to continue, and encountering his perspective has been reinforcing and encouraging.

Recently, he led a moment of meditative self-connection during an appearance on the Action for Happiness podcast. Afterward, he went on to say that forgiveness already exists in us. It's latent, and doesn't have to be learned because it emerges from being quiet, safe, open, and trusting.

The notion that forgiveness is innate and not necessarily learned is a point of divergence, one that inspires YFFY's mission forward.

There's certainly merit to Dr. Fred's emphasis on forgiving from open-heartedness. My own experience, though, has shown that learning to forgive can sometimes be the very practice that's needed to open the heart. Especially as someone coming from trauma, i couldn't get to open-heartedness without first learning to forgive.

In a world of chaos and division, not all of us can afford to wait until we connect with our inner quiet to forgive. For some of us, that road is too long to travel. We need forgiveness to help clear the wreckage blocking the way to our quiet place.

No matter how we get there, finding our way back to ourselves is a key reason why we forgive for us – why you forgive for you.